Common Core to Include Entire Monster Manual
"According to my research, 90% of all careers will be in adventuring and mercenary adjacent fields."
The Imperial School and Trade Training Council voted earlier this week to make Cryptozoology a mandatory part of every primary school’s curriculum starting next year. The controversial decision to add the subject to the common core was approved by a vote of 9 to 8. It’s adoption means that each student would be tested on the strengths, weaknesses, and abilities of various monsters, beasts, demons, and other beings that defy categorization.
“We put it to a vote, and it passed,” says Council Head and disgraced cryptozoologist, Alboy Tsitter. “That’s about as fair as we could make it. Some would argue that we should have had a town hall meeting to listen to the parents’ concerns, but I had to cancel it because I heard Owlbears were going to attack.” Tsitter would not reveal the source of the warning, but promises it was a step that had to be taken. “I don’t see it as coincidence that foul monsters were planning to attack a meeting set up to discuss teaching future adventurers about their tendencies in combat.” Unrelated to these events, the new cryptozoology curriculum with need a hefty budget that Tsitter will have discretion over.
Many of those who voted for the change did so with pragmatic reasons. “We have to prepare students for the future and give them the necessary knowledge to succeed,” says Coucilperson Ombrea Sitzcastle. “And according to my research, 90% of all careers will be in adventuring and mercenary adjacent fields. And we can’t rely on imported henchpeople for security against enemies we’ve only heard about in myths and legend.”
The battle over the issue isn’t done, however, as dissenters still have options to prevent the change at future hearings. “It’s disheartening, but we can’t let up now,” says Councilperson Sienn Traggesh. “There are many of us who believe that cryptozoology doesn’t belong in our public schools. It should be taught in the home, as is our tradition. I’ll have to homeschool my 17 children if we can’t get it repealed.”
Not mentioned, or even considered, by the council are the opinions of teachers. “It begs many questions,” Jelp Olverlam tells The Dungeon Tribune. “For example, what monsters are we going to teach? Who decides that?” Supporting Olverlam is fellow instructor Peqtor. “I’m really concerned that the instruction with give a bias towards ‘western monsters’, and exclude those from other cultures. Now more than ever its important to have representation in our mythology.”
Despite teacher concerns, students seem enthusiastic about the idea. “I do want to learn more about unicorns and dinosaurs,” says 3rd class student Gelk Turfpoll. “But I’m most excited to learn about the most dangerous monsters: humans.”