Dungeon Monster Ordered to Return to Office
"It’ll be great to be back in a place with people feel obligated to talk to me..."
After five years of working remotely, monsters of The Underdungeon Tomb have been ordered to return to the office. Among those affected is the bugbear Kruz, who started with the dungeon 2 years ago through a mercenary headhunter. Like many denizens of the dungeon, he was hired as a permanent remote monster and isn’t happy with the mandate to appear in person. “I’ve never even been to the dungeon,” Kruz told The Dungeon Tribune. “It would be a 5 hour commute each way, and that’s only if I get a horse.” Kruz’s choice is an easy one from his perspective. “I’ve already updated my resume. I’m really glad I did that trap maintenance certificate and held onto my freelance clients.”
Not everyone is exploring other opportunities, though. Some monsters are even excited to return to the office. “So much of my social life was centered around the dungeon,” says hobgoblin Lugg, that no one likes. “It’ll be great to be back in a place with people feel obligated to talk to me. I was upset when the pestilence forced us to work from our hovels to begin with.” The other monster excited by the return is Ertes the Orc, who believes that tangible synergies are lost when the team isn’t in close proximity. “When we’re working independently, it’s hard to get other people to do my work of me.”
Despite Ertes’ sentiments, most of the dungeon’s monsters feel that there aren’t any real productivity benefits to be gained from returning. “This isn’t the (11)90’s,” says workforce consultant Kieln Owlcrest. “A majority of these dungeon positions can be done remotely, some with increased productivity due to better monster morale. Many monsters are more eager to harass adventurers if they can do it while waiting on the thatcher to show up.” The belief is so prevalent that many monsters feel the move must be due to ulterior motives. “They don’t really care if we’re marginally more productive,” says svirfneblin Gigjet. “They just want everyone so that the dungeons property value doesn’t plummet.”