Local Dungeon Master to Institute Microtransactions
“It starts with a few cosmetic items, but pretty soon you’ll have to enter credit card info for every long rest."
Local Dungeon Master, Matthew Henderson, shocked his weekly gaming group today by announcing that he will begin instituting microtransactions beginning next quarter. The initiative will allow the players in his weekly game to purchase items with real world currency. “It was something that I’ve put a lot of thought into, weighed the pros and cons, and it just makes sense financially,” says Henderson, 11. “We looked into online streaming and sponsorship models, all of which are still available in the future, but an in game purchase model is the most logical way to monetize the property and provide a sustainable revenue stream to our shareholders in the current environment.” The market seems to agree as stock prices for the group are at an all-time high.
The largest shareholder in “Really Cool Gaming Group, Inc.”, and Matthew’s mother, Glenda Henderson supports the move toward freemium. “I don’t really understand what’s going on, but I’m very proud of everything Matthew does. I just want everyone to have a good time.” (Editor’s note: Ms. Henderson offered reporters from The Dungeon Tribune freshly baked cookies and milk. We do not interpret the offer as an attempt to influence the story, but we politely declined to avoid conflicts of interest.)
Most members of the gaming group are fine with the decision. “I don’t think it’ll have a big impact on the game, and I already have too many magical items,” says Kimberly Daniels. “Matt works hard as DM. It’s a pretty thankless job and maybe it’s time he was compensated for his time and effort.” “I’ll gladly hand over money if it means I get the Mace of Disruption I’ve had my eye on,” adds newcomer Jason Rich. “I don’t think there will be any major changes to the experience as a whole.”
Others in the group are not as optimistic about the developments. “This is going to ruin the game!” exclaims Gregory Hamm from his bedroom window where he has been grounded for being mean to his brother. “It starts with a few cosmetic items, but pretty soon you’ll have to enter credit card info for every long rest. That’s what my big brother says, anyway.” The story is all to familiar for Emily Sheer, whose old group went in a similar direction before disbanding. “It started with paying to play homebrew subclasses, but eventually the increase in power levels lead to harder encounters, and I had to give up most of my allowance just to keep up in power level. It still wasn’t as bad as my friend Will, he’s still fighting the gambling addiction from the loot crates.” An investigation into the unnamed dungeon master revealed that the dice used to determine the loot crates were not properly weighted. Emily best summed up the responses of detractors when asked if they would keep playing in Matthew’s game: “We really don’t have much of a choice. The only other DM on the block smells bad and runs 2nd edition.”