Local Wizard Studies Years to Become Murder Hobo
“You spend 8 years with your basic studies, then another 6 years with basic arcana and cantrips, another 3 years as an apprentice, and when your done you use your hard-earned powers for petty murder.”
Local wizard, Kierken Murgoln, didn’t gain his magical abilities from an ancient dragon bloodline, or by making a deal with a powerful demon. He gained his magic the old-fashioned way: through years of rigorous and tireless study. And with powers that most mortals can only dream of, he has chosen to travel the countryside killing people on a whim. “He follows in a grand tradition within the wizard community,” says archmage Nitrizz the Wise, who has produced over a dozen wizards under his tutelage. “You spend 8 years with your basic studies, then another 6 years with basic arcana and cantrips, another 3 years as an apprentice, and when you’re done you use your hard-earned powers for petty murder.”
Nitrizz tells The Dungeon Tribune that much of this outcome is attributed to the training turning students mad. “The studies, experiments, projects, research, and odd jobs that apprentices must do leaves them little time for sleep and can often cause those who go through it to question the meaning of existance. For most would-be wizards, it’s just a phase, but it does take hold of some permanently.”
Still, others familiar with the process attribute the likelihood of murder sprees among wizards not to the training, but to the self-selection of candidates. “If you stop to think about it, what sane person would choose to go years of their life with virtually no sleep, no social life, and little in the way of job prospects,” says Adjunct Divinity Professor Helga Utmeir. “You have to either really love the arcane or have some type of abnormality. If you just wanted powers, you could choose a god to worship instead, and they’d give you many of the same spells.” Current student Dirdge Veilshadow is one example of evil as a preexisting condition for wizardom. “Yeah I guess there are many who go into mage training wanting to master the mysteries of the weave, or improve the world in which they live, but I’m only here to become a Lich.”
They say that it isn’t always the most intelligent that become wizards, but those don’t have any better opportunities. This is true of reformed thieves’ guild initiate and current first year apprentice Ismold Defthand. “There aren’t many options for someone like me who has spent time in the dungeon, and not as an adventurer,” says Defthand. “But anyone can become a wizard if you find a mentor willing take you in, and there are plenty that are crazy enough to take just about anyone. It’s not like there are people telling them not to take on evil students.” Veilshadow confirms the sentiment. “No, I made it really clear that I was only here to become an evil undead that mocks the gods for all eternity. My mentor didn’t seem to care as long as I completed my assistantship duties on time.”