Long time Dungeon Master, Gabe Kirtbloom, passed away on Friday after rocks fell through the 1st floor ceiling and landed on his chair at the head of the dining room table. Kirtbloom was running a game at the time, and while none of the other players at the table suffered any major injuries, many claim the event to be a traumatic one. “One moment we’re playing, and the next he’s buried beneath several large boulders,” says game night regular Elizabeth Pelmquod, “They must have done at least 20d6 damage. I don’t think I can get over it.” Fellow player Alexis Smirclout can’t help but blame themselves. “I don’t think I caused it, but I could have been more prepared,” says Smirclout. “I neither had a pickaxe nor diamonds worth at least 300gp.”
In the aftermath, elder statesman Stan Greenest expressed a sense of mortality to The Dungeon Tribune. “Just like that, it can all end. Even if it isn’t falling rocks, this life is full of hazards. You could be crossing the street and get hit by a bus, or fall in a manhole.” In situations like these it’s not uncommon for witnesses to imagine themselves as the victim. “I almost volunteered to guest DM. I wouldn’t have even gotten a saving throw,” laments Greenest.
For one member of the group present at the table, the sudden death of their Dungeon Master is far from shocking. “These things happen when you aren’t careful,” says Archie Lass. “I kept telling him he should check his ancient poisoned rock collection with a 10 foot pool to make sure they’re secure. He never made time for it.” Lass hopes that the events will at least have the silver lining of being a cautionary tale. “Check your traps, and check them often. Because even if one person dies from their own pit of spikes, it’s one too many.”
A celebration of Kirtbloom’s life will be held at the local inn in the coming week. In lieu of flowers, Kirtbloom’s family asks that you donate to the Victims of Poorly Designed Traps Fund.