Value of Gold Plummets After Short Excursion into Dungeon

"These copper coins are now worth 3 gold each."

The local gold market was rocked today after a troupe of adventurers returned from a day trip to The Western Delves with more gold coins than the rest of the region combined. The value and buying power of gold has been on a sharp decline ever since, with no sign of bottoming. The adventurers themselves, known as Dumpster Divers Inc., seem just as surprised as the rest of the village at the results of their windfall. “This has never happened before. Usually we go into a dungeon, come back with tons of gold, and spend it all with no problem” says long-time Dumpster Diver, Jean Du-Champaign. “I have no idea why this is happening now.”

Most citizens of Groffdell have been hurt due to the economic disruption, with many people’s lifesavings decimated. “I’ve been farming for 40 years to build up my 6 gold pieces, and now that can’t even buy an abacus. It’s not right!” Not everyone in the village has been negatively affected, however, as a few people have managed to prosper through the ordeal. “I’m really glad I never made it to Ye Olde CoinStar” says local thatcher Sumnal Osdrey while showing off his Dire Piggy Bank, filled to the snout with copper pieces. “These copper coins are now worth 3 gold each. I can finally afford that Abacus I’ve always wanted!” Groffdell’s doctor/barber/dentist/abacus repairman, Retan Jurst, has also benefitted from the new economic situation. “Gold is worth so little now; people are literally asking me to fill the cavities in their teeth with it. It really cuts down on the costs of doing business.”

Many of those negatively affected are blaming the Dumpster Divers for their plight and look to them for a solution. “People are saying we did this intentionally. Why would we do that? Why would we make the one thing we have an abundance of worthless?” Dumper Diver leader Lasup Nalli explains. “We weren’t even on a real adventure” says one of the discovers, Geam Shertor. “I just accidentally fell down some stairs and there it was.” The proposed solution isn’t one that the group wants to explore either. “They want us to put the gold back.” Nalli told The Dungeon Tribune. “Have you ever heard of anyone putting treasure INTO a dungeon? It’s absurd.” The mayor of Groffdeall, Artell Gimtell, has championed the idea of returning the gold. “Not only will it increase the value of gold, it will also create jobs for those looking to find it again.”

Groffdell’s resident economist and reader of animal entrails, Gievy Flouws, is stumped. “I can’t even begin to think of the cascade of changes this could cause. It’s a real Dragonfly Affect type scenario.” Flouws’ only course of action is to undo the damage, but the task has proved challenging. “I’ve tried everything I can think of to get us back to normal. After the usual policies: sacrificing goats, summoning demons, and hallucinogenic mushrooms, we tried more unorthodox tactics like raising interest rates. Nothing has worked. I might be able to do more, if only I had some type of device that helped me with complex calculations.”

The one possible solution that everyone is avoiding is an obvious one. “I can reverse transmute the gold” explains alchemist James Paige. “I even have plans to make a flying machine from the new substance.”